- Lit Neo, CEO of Tongle
- February 5, 2025
Over years of working with leaders, I’ve observed a common pattern: The pressure of having to know it all and handle everything alone often stems from what I call the Superhero leadership style.
Many cultures idolize leaders who are strong, invincible, and capable of fixing any problem. This expectation isn’t just imposed by society—it’s one leaders place upon themselves. However, trying to be a “Superhero” leader is a surefire way to become overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations because it’s both unrealistic and unsustainable.
Through my work with leaders overwhelmed by the need to have all the answers, I’ve identified three hidden “Superhero” beliefs that often contribute to these challenges. Recognizing and challenging these beliefs is the first step toward a more sustainable and effective leadership style.
1. The Belief That a Hero Must Always Have the Answers
Superheroes are expected to know everything. Leaders often feel immense pressure to have all the answers, even in unpredictable situations.
A senior executive I coached struggled when his team turned to him for certainty during a time of major organizational change. He also faced intense scrutiny from stakeholders who expected clear direction. Eventually, he admitted, “I believed my role required me to always have a solution. Saying ‘I don’t know’ felt like letting everyone down.”
Another manager expressed a similar sentiment: “I worry that if I admit uncertainty, my team will lose confidence in me. I feel like I have to present an answer, even when I’m unsure.”
This expectation places undue stress on leaders, forcing them to maintain an illusion of control when true certainty is often impossible. As Adam Grant highlights in Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, the best leaders embrace the discomfort of uncertainty and use it as a strength. Rather than clinging to the need for immediate answers, they foster an environment of curiosity, inquiry, and shared problem-solving. Leadership isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about empowering teams to navigate uncertainty together.
2. The Belief That Losing Control Equals Failure
Imagine a doctor claiming they can cure every patient, no matter the circumstances. Absurd, right? Yet many leaders adopt this mindset, believing they need to control every outcome to prove their worth.
One executive I worked with shared: “When two key team members left in one month, I couldn’t stop blaming myself. If something goes wrong, it’s always my fault.”
The Superhero mindset requires leaders to maintain tight control over their teams, their processes, and their outcomes. It creates an illusion that they are responsible for everything, even if circumstances are beyond their control. Leaders who cling to this illusion often stifle their teams, as employees become hesitant to take initiative, waiting for instructions instead.
Instead of micromanaging, leaders should focus on engaging employees for their expertise and contributions. The true role of a leader is not to control every detail, but to create a vision and guide the team toward success. By distinguishing between what is within their control and what isn’t, leaders can release unnecessary pressure and empower their teams.
3. The Belief That Vulnerability is a Weakness
One leader put it bluntly: “If you want to climb the ladder, you keep your problems to yourself.”
Superhero leaders believe they need to appear fine at all times—confident, energized, and unshakable. Vulnerability and mental health remain taboo topics for many leaders, despite growing awareness of their importance.
But keeping up appearances comes at a cost. Leaders who bottle up their struggles often miss out on the trust and connection that come from being open and authentic.
Melissa Doman, in her book Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work, challenges the outdated belief that mental health struggles are personal and should be hidden at work. She argues that mental health should be treated just like physical health, and that breaking the stigma around these discussions is crucial for workplace well-being.
A VP I worked with struggled to connect with her team until she shared a personal story about navigating a difficult divorce and the emotional toll it took on her. Her openness transformed her team’s perception of her. One team member later told her, “It was the first time I saw you as a real person.”
The Impact of Superhero Leadership
Here’s the reality: Superhero leaders may appear strong on the outside, but they’re often running on empty inside. They operate at maximum energy output, depleting their resources quickly.
And it’s not just about their personal well-being. Superhero leaders often stifle their teams without realizing it. By taking on all the responsibility and keeping everything tightly controlled, they create an environment where others are afraid to take risks, propose new ideas, or admit mistakes.
A New Perspective on Leadership
Leadership isn’t about knowing it all or handling everything alone. The best leaders let go of these burdens—admitting when they don’t have all the answers, accepting that not everything is within their control, and embracing vulnerability.
If you’ve been operating as a Superhero leader, ask yourself: Is all this pressure really necessary? Chances are, some of it is self-imposed and entirely avoidable. What would happen if you focused more on guiding your team rather than carrying the full weight of leadership alone?
After all, leadership isn’t about being Superman or Superwoman. It’s about creating a sustainable approach that empowers both you and your team to thrive.
Take the Next Step: Mental Wellness Workshop for Leaders
At Tongle, we help leaders move beyond the Superhero mindset by facilitating Mental Wellness Workshops for Higher Management. These interactive sessions equip leadership teams with the tools to embrace sustainable leadership, cultivate resilience, and foster a mentally healthy workplace culture.
Empower your leadership team to lead with clarity, balance, and effectiveness. Contact us today to schedule a mental wellness workshop and take the first step towards a healthier leadership approach.
